You aren’t that important.

yeah. this is common with road rage incidents. person takes out their latent rage about something else on someone who isn’t driving fast enough or something

and a lot of people build an identity/community out of their shared hatreds and insecurities.

i remember when you’d look at someones profile and reddit and half their comments were in fatpeoplehate or other types of subreddits, and the other half were in the loseit subreddit.

It also works on the flip side. Lots of immature people think anything they find disagreeable is awful and anyone who challenges them is hateful.

Like telling a child that candy is bad for them and they can’t have it for dinner. Usually the child doesn’t go ‘gee thanks mom, you are right.’ They throw a tantrum and ask why their parents are so mean and awful to them.

emotional gratification

I’m a ‘I don’t do false dichotomies’ type of person.

They don’t consider that at all. Because they’d have to consider that maybe they are one of the problematic people…

Anyone of an extremist position typically never considers the possibility of themselves being the victim of themselves. Because if you agree with them you are automatically good person…

Which is precisely how cult leaders get away with their horrific abuses of their members. The narrative becomes ‘anything I do is justified because I am good and all things I do are good’.

Basic facts of human psychology and behavior that most people in active denial about because it makes them feel/look bad.

Even talking about this stuff makes people VERY uncomfortable and angry. Especially given most people subscribe to just world theories that people are inherently good or evil and what happens to them in life is justified because of that inherent quality they feel usually is attributed from some universal force. People really can’t cope with how random ‘evil’ can really be.

The scariest part is that anyone can become anything, given the right circumstances. Nobody is inherently good or evil, and most of the people who endlessly moralize about others, themselves tend towards more evil behaviors. I especially enjoy how the ‘anti evil’ people are so eager to enact violence on others or in the name of others.

it’s also how you become well-liked/popular. you parrot stuff that other popular people say.

People enjoy slapping other people.

And they don’t enjoy being slapped.

Other people don’t care how much time and effort someone put into anything, they only care if it makes them fell good or bad. And if you make them feel bad they want to make you feel bad.

A lot of the tech/rationalist lemmyites really don’t get how basic and rawly emotional most human beings are, themselves included.

Revenge.

Downvoting someone you don’t like feels like punishing them or enacting revenge on them because you don’t like something they said.

most modern ff games are soulless slogs since ff13.

FF12 was the last one that had any decent pacing.

i never grew up in a family with a family home. my parents moved every 5-8 years.

i also hated them and they hated me, so I was very happy to be gone as soon as possible.

This backfires a lot because other people don’t want to be treated like you do.

Most people think it’s when your brain is flooding with dopamine or other ‘happy’ chemicals.

Wise people realize it’s the ability to self-regulate and cope well with life’s problems and lows, and appreciate it’s joys without being bitter over them not lasting forever.

yeah. i run into this so much. i meet so many people who are so angry with me because my/their life is not what they think it should be. it’s so fucking weird to me that people think that way.

like I’ve had people scream at me for not owning a BMW. I have never ever wanted one ever in my life… and if you tell them that they get ANGRIER.

This is a great take. It’s sad that most ‘self help’ is not this clear or articulate… mostly because it’s snake oil that’s about feelings and not about pragmatic choices.

Unhappy people never make pragmatic choices… they are always chasing these abstract nonsense concepts that they will never attain, because they are not attainable. Wanting to be good at something is very different and vague, but setting a reasonable goal of wanting to achieve something in a set time is is a way to build a rewarding and self-validating life. Especially if it’s set against yourself. “I want to be 1m faster in my 5K run” is clear and attainable goal, but saying “I want to win every 5K I enter this year” is one that is going to lead to failure.

And most people setup their goals very much like the latter. Every miserable person I meet is just… often very angry they aren’t leading a lifestyle of fame and wealth, and rather than making smart choices to enhance their improve es year by year, they just go on debt binges or other self-destructive choices that move their further away from their desires. And often those desire aren’t even really their own… they are just stuff they are convinced they want because other people want it and they need to want it too otherwise people won’t like them…

amen. seeking fulfillment in others is the surefire way to be miserable. the most miserable people I have known were the ones who entirely derived their worth from others approval, and often it was so bad they had no internal validation mechanisms and often very poor internal regulation and they were seeking someone external to do their regulation for them.

doesn’t have to be masturbation. plenty of people are addicted to sex with strangers or other types of coping mechanisms.

sex is problematic because it’s it’s seeking a short term high. like drugs, gambling, junk food etc. all of these mess with your brain and create lead to mal-adaptive brain chemistry. being high/chasing high isn’t what happiness is.

my cat did. he used to dig up the soil and he would lay in the garden to defend it from rabbits. he was an amazing garden cat.

he even caught a couple and he ate one of them.