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Anyone who is going through this, you have to try. You have to put effort into yourself and get used to rejection. It’s not fun but if it’s important to you then it’s important to show up.
I didn’t have my first kiss until 26. I have a wife and two kids. Just so you don’t think it was easy for me.
Can’t.
I spent my whole life being told to not be a creep, don’t just go up to women they don’t want random men approaching them, they’re at the club for a good time with friends, etc.
So that only leaves online dating and I’m not a 10/10 so never get a match.
So that only leaves online dating and I’m not a 10/10 so never get a match.
Bullshit. That’s just toxic internet culture talking. You may have to put some effort in your profile, but it worked for me and I’m a 6 at best.
Online dating has also been poisoned by creepy dudes. A lady I matched to on Bumble told me that when she matched to some guy and when the dude realized they lived close enough, he wanted to have a quick one night stand with her. Now, this dude was supposedly a surgeon. So, it makes things difficult for all of us, who are looking for something more stable and long term.
And herein lies a big issue - only a minority of men are creeps towards women, but because they’re creeps towards so many women it means that women ubiquitously experience creepy dudes. That causes women to become (understandably) more guarded and jaded and makes things harder for the majority of men who aren’t creeps.
It’s truly a vicious cycle that makes things worse for everyone.
So don’t be a creep, meet people as they are, don’t meet people expecting them to have sex with you
Work on yourself, go to therapy, get a hobby or read a book, join a reading group.
You have to be a part of a community to meet people. You can’t just hang out on the internet posting about how unfair it all is, and expect anything to magically change
take care
If countries’ leaders weren’t dumb as shit they would offer public dating apps that don’t try to exploit people.
These apps work great when the goal is to match people who would get along, capitalism enshittified them.
It’s obviously how most people want to meet, why not offer people a dating site that isn’t shit to fix isolation?
I honestly think countries don’t want to fix their birthrates at all, none of them do anything significant to help them.
I feel like if countries’ leaders weren’t dumb as shit, they’d work to fix healthcare, education, and the economy, as that would have a much larger positive impact than a dating app.
Someone who is hardworking and disciplined enough to keep the same shitty job for ten years could easily make a partner happy and get satisfaction from a relationship. Too many people look at what other people have and let it make them feel hopeless when they should be looking at what they have themselves and let it make them feel empowered.
This is a huge deal. Truly. Male loneliness in particular is a swollen lithium battery ready to be poked. I doubt it will be addressed correctly. I have no idea how to fix it and infinite empathy for anyone, male or female, going through this.
I know he’s a right-wing nut job now but I found Jordan Peterson really helpful in my youth. “Clean up your room”, “dress like the person you went to be”, “happiness is fleeting, and suffering requires constant meaning”.
His old stuff was simple and straight forward, good lessons for a lost young man
