its not that i had sex

its that sex had me 😔

I’d like to blame microplastics

now draw her fulfilling those commissions, displaying her surely excellent, healthy posture as she draws

Imagine everyone using Latin to program

Someone comes along and says we’re using Jenglish now

talk to him about non-nippulous topics, like football, or canned beer (do NOT mention draft)

Tell me about it! My spouse was pissed when they found out about my hobbies that I was doing outside of the house, like having sex with other people

ok wait before we get judgy, like how hot was the club

what if straw in ass

You are 100% correct

Rachel

We’re gonna ride those thermals right into the towers, Rachel

We’re gonna fucking 9/11 those Yerks, Rachel

I’m TobiRiiiiiiiiiick

That’s funny because I need to get up in 5 hours for work

Oh how you’ve pondered your orb, wizard. You have pondered your orb

I do but they’re kinda shitty

Jacuzzi suit for half-Burns burning, a classic joke

Some guy called Lord Smegma used humour at an inappropriate time? I am smegged

in a wild city, no less

or mats

“Babe. Babe. You vowed. You vowed, ok? You HAVE to watch the MarioKart speedrun with me.”

got one of those rashes that look super contagious?

Politically, yes, physically, no

The worst possible combination

I get why this was downvoted but you have committed shitposting in its purest form