A complete and utter whirlwind. I had work and some cool cultural events such as seeing the original Jurassic Park in a theater which was great but it’s all kind of a blur because bottom surgery is now less than a week away. I did my best to prepare my apartment for the recovery and stocking up on stuff a bit. But honestly, I was mostly focused on not getting sick. I noticed some tiredness and body aches on Friday and cancelled almost all plans I had for the weekend. I have my last 3 days of work Mon-Wed and will try my best to not get sick next week before leaving for surgery. What a ride.

I realised today that I haven’t really felt normal since August. First I had two months of existential anguish because of insurance denying surgery, now three weeks of euphoria and finally a week of anxiety over getting sick. I’m so so looking forward to when I’m there and “just” have to recover. I’m sure it will be hard but at least I’ll just have to chill out.

Also: Very funny to announce each morning that it’s the last [weekday] with a penis.

Very, very good! I received news that bottom surgery will be in three weeks, what the hell? Someone canceled and they basically told me “we have this one spot in three weeks or else you’d be in July” so I obviously went with “in three weeks”. This means I’ll spend Christmas and New Year’s Eve in a hospital at the other end of the country, but I’m not that bothered about it. Christmas with family is a hassle anyways since transition and I hate New Year’s Eve. I already have some friends who want to come visit me during the hospital stay and I’m currently very busy with life admin to try and not have any missed appointments in the recovery period! Life has turned around completely in these last few weeks and I couldn’t be happier about it. I’m in absolute bliss and so, so relaxed. Though there is that nagging feeling that something will go wrong last minute and I can’t have surgery. But realistically, there’s nothing that could go wrong. I’ll take extreme care of not catching a cold before, my train is booked for a day early, the date is set.

I’m also German and my mother is similar, albeit less extreme. She is still nice to me and somehow genders me correctly when texting me but doesn’t care for my preferred pronouns when we talk in person. I don’t want to go no contact because I’m on good terms with the rest of my family (they mostly don’t care and accept my identity without much fuss) so I cope by not interacting with her a lot when we see each other. I see my family every two months or so and when I do, I don’t sit next to her, only talk the necessities etc. She still manages to misgender me every time to speak. It hurts, but no contact is not an option for me so I just endure it. I prepare visits to family by pampering myself and always plan quality time after a visit. I refuse to meet her 1-on-1. It’s not ideal, but okay for me.

I don’t know what it’s like with your dad, but my mom is just a very stubborn person that doesn’t adapt well to change. My sister’s husband is vegan and has been for years and she still cooks meals with meat and dairy in them when he comes over. She just says he should bring his own food to family dinners. To me, this confirms that my mom isn’t like this to me (just) because of my identity, but also/mostly because she can’t handle change.

Edit: Oh and also it’s gotten slightly better the more I visibly feminize. I think she’s a bit of a transmedicalist without knowing the term, GRS will probably help as well.

Pretty good, I’d say! My insurance has agreed to cover my GRS after all and now I’m waiting for the doctor to respond to my email with a surgery date, she was on vacation until Wednesday. On Tuesday, I got a large new tattoo that took the entire day. That was very exhausting but I’m very happy with it, it’s an abstract flower on the side of my thigh and some lines that connect to an older tattoo around my ankle. I also went to the Christmas Market for the first time this year and bought some cool leopard fur gloves, they’re so warm and look great! Also had a laser session and I think I’m almost done now, maybe 1-2 more sessions. Feels a bit weird to not go to my laser lady anymore, I’ve grown quite fond of her.

Thank you!! Very helpful!

Oh great, this worked like a charm! I just put the one I had in and rotated it. Thank you!

Solved, more or less. But I’m still open to other suggestions if people want to share quality wallpaper sources :)