Us Millennials sure do love destroying industries by non-participation such as… lemme check my notes here… housing. Pack it in, chaps, another job well done.

The real solution to poverty is just not being poor.

Now where’s my Nobel Peace Prize?

Look look look, we just gotta keep taking the moral high road and meeting them in the middle. Eventually they’ll help us out. They can’t keep pulling the football like Lucy with Charlie Brown EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Thank you for reading my new cookbook “I Can’t Believe I Shit My Pants… AGAIN?!”

Yeah, turns out that lead in gasoline ain’t so great for the brain. I remember being oddly fascinated the first time I saw the correlation of lead being pulled from gas and violent crime plummeting 30 years later. You can see it in graphs from all across the world and can damn near set your watch to it.