Turn off your caps-lock you fucking troglodyte.

Are the planes nuclear powered? Are the other boats? These things don’t travel solo.

I’ll let you know when a good cop changes anything!

How many good cops does it take to change a light bulb?

Why aren’t people posting a phone number instead of a fucking youtube link?

Eat the rich. They’re begging for it at this point.

Dessert is what you have after a meal. You can help remember this by thinking there are more S’s because you want more dessert.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

He thought the paper said “Hungry” and he wanted to make sure everybody was that.

When did you realize he was in love with you “When he said the words “I’m in love with you””

Powerful stuff.