

You’ll probably hate me for saying this, but when I worked in an office, I often pretended to be stupid when it came to IT stuff.
Sometimes it’s nice to have a little break on the company’s dime. I get that it’s annoying, but on the plus side, it helps prevent management from making unnecessary and existentially threatening cuts to the IT department.
Boomer boss gets the importance of the IT guy replacing the deskjet printer so they can print off a 100 page colour manual on how the company’s ‘going green’. They don’t understand the IT department fixing something like sievelike data security. That’s a problem for after the shareholder meeting, if anyone ever finds out.
It’s a bit like how I’m not great at scanning stuff at the self-scan tills and make mistakes. Don’t want it to be too profitable to replace a cashier with a machine. Everyone’s got bills to pay.
I used to do IT support, so now I sometimes pretend to be an idiot outside of work too. “Mom’s friend Sarah has an issue with windows and wants me to help fix it for free? Sorry, I only know how to use the apples.”


TBH in the past, I’ve argued both for the -um ending, and for the -ium ending. It really annoys some people. It’s even more annoying, when they realise that you’ve managed to annoy them with such a pedantic point.
Another one is skeptical/sceptical. “I think you’ll find it comes from the Greek, so it should be with a k.”
Or the plural octopus. “I think you’ll find it comes from the Greek, so it’s octopodes. Octopi is certainly wrong, because it doesn’t come from latin.”
I think I may be an energy vampire.