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You’ve been in the shower several hours too long or there’s a gas leak or something.

I have a herniated disc and bunched nerves, so not much.

I’m in the UK too and I definitely see plenty of moths still. Not as many as summer, but there’s plenty of moths more suited to colder weather.

I’m a big fan of vinegar. You could pickle all kinds of awful foodstuffs and I’ll eat them.

The shit smearers.

Cucumber, because fuck cucumber.

With the caveat that if it’s small and you pickle it, I’m down.

Besides that, and I can’t express this more clearly, FUCK CUCUMBER. Infects everything it touches, permeates the air, tastes like old water, smells like… Foetid moss or watery algae.

I gather the hatred some people like me carry for pukecumber has a genetic root.

My mate, Big Dave, was 6ft 10in. He was just a giant man, not just gangly like some very tall folk. He used to tell people who regularly asked that he was 4ft 34in.

Doesn’t it have loads of games within it? When my son plays he might be shooting, or driving, or doing some kind of obstacle course.

Do you shit in the toilet or the garden?

I don’t know Pokémon at all, so I don’t know which column is their real name and which is the German (presuming that’s what I’m looking at).

Bat. Because it does.