like, if I’m nice (as I would prefer to be), a man might get the wrong impression, but I’m also afraid to be rude or do anything to upset them so I have to be the right kind of nice or polite - it’s a real double-bind, and something I don’t experience with women
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“Think you’re beautif-”
“I have no interest in men. I will never want to fuck you. Odds are you’re more enthusiastic about fucking someone who looks like you than I am.”
“Got it got it”
(30 seconds later)
“So, uh, you wanna make out”
It’s really clear you’ve either never presented as femme while outside or never spoken to a man.
Just a reminder:
I agree with you but it’s a minefield. And the goalposts shift. For example, one time I was leaving a bar after stopping for food on my way home from work. I brought a comic book to read as a signal I didn’t want to chit-chat. This took place in the parking lot, with a guy easily double my age, and I’m no spring chicken.
“Hey baby” (yelled from halfway across the parking lot)
“Not interested, thanks.” (Said dismissively)
“Bitch, I don’t want to fuck you!” (Said extremely aggressively)
“Not interested in a conversation either!” (Said in singsong)
“No wonder you are here alone, cunt.” (Intent obvious)
Like… no shit? I made myself unavailable for a reason, but even minding one’s own business isn’t enough to escape abuse.