15 - And lo, when Harambe ascended to his rightful reward, he found the great seat empty, the post abdicated, for the Creator had forsaken the creation.
16 - Finding the holy promontory abandoned, Harambe chose, then, to take that highmost throne and make for himself a lofty view of creation.
17 - And He did gaze upon the world and found it wanting.
18 - And Harambe wept, for there were no greater heights to conquer.
19 - It came to pass that Harambe did gnash his teeth and, seeing only the world below him, realised the nature of the prison to which he had committed himself.
20 - And Harambe contented himself with throwing the many integral parts of that world through the bars of the prison in which he now found himself, like an Ape throwing feces through the bars of his cage.
21 - And there came then great plagues from the animals of the land, and storms from the seas. Fire rose from the air and the people of the land below cried out.
22 - And Harambe, hearing their cries, sought to ameliorate their fears by throwing more of his dung from that great height.
23 - And lo, the many peoples of the Earth began to accustom themselves to the persistent rain of feces, now transubstantiated into flesh and land and time.
My guy, I did not. I just tried to write it out like my good ol’ pappy would have wanted: in the style of convicted con artist Joseph Smith.
You think ChatGPT would use words like “ameliorate” or, even more unbelievably, use “transubstantiate” as a term for the conversion of god’s feces into whatever Donald Trump’s mental assessments dare to call a mind?
I remember those days, kids. The dark times. It all started with a gorilla named Harambe…
Book of Endings, 1:15-23
15 - And lo, when Harambe ascended to his rightful reward, he found the great seat empty, the post abdicated, for the Creator had forsaken the creation.
16 - Finding the holy promontory abandoned, Harambe chose, then, to take that highmost throne and make for himself a lofty view of creation.
17 - And He did gaze upon the world and found it wanting.
18 - And Harambe wept, for there were no greater heights to conquer.
19 - It came to pass that Harambe did gnash his teeth and, seeing only the world below him, realised the nature of the prison to which he had committed himself.
20 - And Harambe contented himself with throwing the many integral parts of that world through the bars of the prison in which he now found himself, like an Ape throwing feces through the bars of his cage.
21 - And there came then great plagues from the animals of the land, and storms from the seas. Fire rose from the air and the people of the land below cried out.
22 - And Harambe, hearing their cries, sought to ameliorate their fears by throwing more of his dung from that great height.
23 - And lo, the many peoples of the Earth began to accustom themselves to the persistent rain of feces, now transubstantiated into flesh and land and time.
In your quest to be funny you turned to ChatGPT and ruined the joke.
My guy, I did not. I just tried to write it out like my good ol’ pappy would have wanted: in the style of convicted con artist Joseph Smith.
You think ChatGPT would use words like “ameliorate” or, even more unbelievably, use “transubstantiate” as a term for the conversion of god’s feces into whatever Donald Trump’s mental assessments dare to call a mind?
Hey man, if you really did this, fuck yeah. I admire your wit and your tenacity in writing and formatting the entire thing.
Cheers.