Text:
Panel 1 Man and woman in office clothes in a break room.
Man: So, if you were alone in a forest, would you rather run into a strange man… or a bear?
Panel 2 Woman: Oh, hmm… I think the bear.
Man (angry): How can you say that?
(Bear looking quizzically through the window)
Panel 3 Man (angry): You’re demonizing men! It’s misandry!
Panel 4 Woman: Good point. Why would I ever hear men’s reactions?
Man: Exactly! …where did the honey go?
Panel 5 Woman and bear sharing tea
Woman: At least if you maul me, pepper won’t say I made it up or I’m misinterpreting.
Bear: I hear you
I’d choose the bear, cus they avoid humans, and with certain types of bears, you can make yourself look bigger than them to scare them away (don’t think you can do that with a man)
He specifically says “strange” man.
I don’t know that I’d pick that over the wild animals of the forest even as a guy.
In the middle of a forest, the only other humans I’d feel 100% safe running into are ones I already know.
It is truly amazing to me how few people understand even the elementary aspects of risk management.
A known danger is easier to manage than an unknown one.
Bears are dangerous, but largely predictable. They usually don’t go after humans at all (and indeed usually go the other direction). And if they seem angry, there’s simple things you can do (it rhymes with “back away slowly” because identical rhymes are still rhymes) that will defuse the situation almost immediately.
Men are for the most part decent human beings. Most men you meet will not be monsters. The problem is that there’s really no way to distinguish the monsters from the decent men until it’s way too late. And extricating yourself from an interaction with a strange man in the forest is not as straightforward as it is for a bear. Backing away slowly might work, or it might trigger that silicon chip inside their brain and slip it to “overload” and make them get angry that you don’t trust them. And the penalty for making a bad choice is serious bodily harm as the good outcome. There are worse ones after that.
So just from straightforward risk assessment it’s better to meet a bear in the woods than a strange man. Because a bear is more predictable and easier to manage.
I admit my username is misleading but I am a woman.
I kind of hate this question because I keep feeling like something is wrong with me for picking the man. The biggest threat is neither the man nor the bear, it’s the forest. If you’re lost in the woods dying of exposure is the biggest danger. As a bear lives in the woods and men by and large do not, encountering a bear would be neutral (as you’re kind of in the bear’s house) and a man positive if you’re lost because a. He’s statistically likely to be part of a search party and b. Even if he’s not, hell, even if he’s the biggest asshole who ever lived, it means you’re within walking distance of a way out.
I promise I’m not trying to be a smartass, I genuinely don’t get it. I do suspect I may be autistic though…am I just being too literal?
Yep, in North America, that works with black bears, generally.
Not brown/grizzly/kodiak bears though, as drawn in the comic.
They’ll just maul you to death.
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If you are in forests, in areas you’re generally likely to encounter any kind of bear in the wild:
With black bears, if they are not with cubs…
…you puff yourself up and shout at them to indimidate them, assuming they are approaching you, and you can scare them off.
If they do attack, the general recommendation is to fight back. Aim for the eyes and snout, and usually they’ll retreat.
With brown bears, if they are not with cubs…
…you can wave your hands and talk a normal volume to indicate you are a human and not their common prey… and often they will stand up on their hind legs to scan for, and identify you, and then just avoid you…
… but sometimes they won’t, and they will now aggro on you. Brown/kodiak/grizzlies are generally much more aggressive than black bears, and are more likely to attack you.
Also, don’t scream shout or shriek at them, thats more likely to make them think you are prey, or that you are trying to intimidate them, which will anger them.
If they do attack you, the advice is play dead.
If you fight back, without some seriously powerful firearms, you’ll die.
Even if you do shoot them multiple times with high powered rounds, sometimes, even often, they’ll still kill you.
The advice is to play dead, because more people who’ve been in such an attack encounter who’ve played dead have survived than those that fought.
Its not guaranteed to work, just better odds.
If you encounter any kind of bear, and they are with their cubs, GTFO as fast and as quietly as you can, without breaking into a sprint, and always keeping your eyes on them.
Any kind of bear is much more likely to be much more aggressive when with their cubs.
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Also I have found that screaming at, and making aggressive postures and gestures toward men does in fact scare a good number off them off.
Broken up a few bar fights and gotten some guys roofying drinks out of bars that way.
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Everyone in this thread treating brown and black bears as equivalent, largely predictable threats… does not actually know enough about bears to know how to predict their behavior.