I’m Canadian even, and I’ve often spotted Joe Biden lurking around my home, hiding behind the bushes. He often carries a syringe full of what I can only assume is some deadly disease or another, and a large burlap sack with a question mark on it.

I’ve noticed Joe Biden stealing jobs from my neighbours, which he places into the burlap sack, as well as money, babies, and other various items.

I try to avoid him, and have thus far been successful, but I fear that one day he’ll either steal my job or infect me with some deadly disease.