I only really feel like an adult when I spend time with kids and young people. Even though the students I teach are at university, and thus technically adults… I’m always struck by how often they seem ‘immature’.
And to be clear, I don’t even really mean that as a criticism. Sure, at times they don’t pay attention and forget to do things and seem akward/nervous. But "adults’ do all those things too. The difference is the adults have generally accepted these flaws and come up with coping strategies (both good and bad) like avoiding those situations, or blaming other people.
So, what makes me feel like an adult is not that I’m on top of things, or that I’m no longer a mess. It’s that I know I’m a mess, and I no longer hope that one day I’ll get everything sorted, and tbh, that’s fine.
the ability to delay gratification and think through the long term consequences of an action is a skill most human beings don’t have until they are in their mid to late 20s. biologically speaking.
but i totally get it when my 13 year old nephew thinks his parents are ruining his life by not letting him buy more fortnite money. because in his brain all that matters is there pressing urges of the here and now. to him the future is no more than a week away, he doesn’t think in terms of months or years and he won’t until he’s apply to college probably.
I only really feel like an adult when I spend time with kids and young people. Even though the students I teach are at university, and thus technically adults… I’m always struck by how often they seem ‘immature’.
And to be clear, I don’t even really mean that as a criticism. Sure, at times they don’t pay attention and forget to do things and seem akward/nervous. But "adults’ do all those things too. The difference is the adults have generally accepted these flaws and come up with coping strategies (both good and bad) like avoiding those situations, or blaming other people.
So, what makes me feel like an adult is not that I’m on top of things, or that I’m no longer a mess. It’s that I know I’m a mess, and I no longer hope that one day I’ll get everything sorted, and tbh, that’s fine.
the ability to delay gratification and think through the long term consequences of an action is a skill most human beings don’t have until they are in their mid to late 20s. biologically speaking.
but i totally get it when my 13 year old nephew thinks his parents are ruining his life by not letting him buy more fortnite money. because in his brain all that matters is there pressing urges of the here and now. to him the future is no more than a week away, he doesn’t think in terms of months or years and he won’t until he’s apply to college probably.