What is wrong with straight people? Are they okay?
I usually end up rubbing mine all over the terminal because each one seems to be a special snowflake with the NFC spot and I can just hear the voice in my head: “That’s not it… That’s not it either” then the cashier has to show me exactly where it is.
Real men take what they want and don’t apologize. If you’re not serving 25-life for multiple petty robberies that escalated to attempted murder for no discernible reason other than insecurity about your dick size then you’re not a real man.
the seconds sentence is like satire but it’s twitter so idk
That is so needlessly and intensely erotic
Penetrative thrust into the chip reader 😩
Here’s exactly what my feed looks like. I’d say this is further evidence that the straights are not okay.
I think the first is satire (hard to say for sure though) but that second one isn’t a straight.
Admit you’re gay or take 25.
This dude takes 50 cards (just in case).
What a bananas take.
“I’m so horny at all times it feels like a goddamn fever dream, a literal full beard is the only thing that even slows me down. Everyone needs to cover themselves in one way or another, otherwise the urge to just dick them down on sight is too much, it’s unreasonable to expect me and other men to simply resist.”
This guy has definitely fucked a chip reader.
I mean, we all have. Right?
I stopped fingering one to type this and now its doing the error beep.
What is wrong with straight people? Are they okay?
Why are y’all taking this seriously?
IDK but I’m pan and it’s obvious to me that this is satire.
I know. Obviously straights aren’t people.
there are a non zero amount of straight guys who saw this and will never tap their card ever again
“straight”
Doesn’t make this any less of an obvious joke
No dad it’s not hormones I just accidentally tapped my card at the store and instantly grew a set of boobs.
Paying for things is feminine. You should punch the cashier and shout “this is mine!” like a real man.
/s, obviously
Pay the iron price
Did you pay the tap price or insert price, son?
Can someone make a shitty shop of a card reader with a card in it and a aheago face please?
Sure thing
Instructions unclear, my penis is stuck in a card reader and I have a lifetime ban from Chipotle.
When I was a cashier, there was definitely a subset of people - usually the same people wearing maga hats - who did refuse to use the tap. They believed it was insecure. I looked it up, it’s slightly more secure than the chip (if only because contactless systems are not yet susceptible to counterfeit card reader attachments).
It was pretty annoying too, because I was frequently stationed at a register that had a broken chip reader. Some people would get frustrated very quickly and, like, start rage-jamming the card into the machine repeatedly. It’s kind of scary how many people go from 0-60 unhinged at checkout.
After learning about the security aspect, and because of that broken reader, I made it a point to educate everyone I could about the tap. A lot of people aren’t even aware their card can do that stuff.
I wonder how the chip reader got broken
Yeah if only there were part of this story which could shed light on it…
Is this satire?
I fucking hope so
Given the wording “confident and penetrative thrust”, I think it must be satire.
I checked out the Twitter account. I think it’s clearly a joke, but the guy is a big Trump supporter so I’d say he does ultimately believe the rhetoric behind the joke. Therefore, not satire.
If I pay cash, does that make me nonbinary?
Depends, do you gayly slide it over or do you slam it on the counter, breaking it?
How does one slam a bill on the counter breaking it?
Ohhhhh… Were you talking about breaking the counter?
How does one slam a bill on the counter breaking it?
Forcefully. /j
