I remember this kid in highschool that, when I asked what was his favorite movie or TV shows, he said he never really watched much stuff before. Like… I ask him about piracy, I forgot what he answered but it was something on the lines of “idk”, dude doesn’t have a netflix and never figured out piracy… So um… yea, strict parents sheltering him… I guess… so that’s why we never really “clicked”.
To be fair, I wasn’t exactly the most outgoing person, but like I could do some amount of random conversations, I know common topics to talk about.
High school kid sounds cool. Just think of all the stuff you could be into if you didn’t watch tv all the time.
Yea stuff like… Tik Tok… Instagram… fighting in hallways, bragging about skipping class…
Low-key “gangs” (not a real gang, but like, tribalism and if you “join” them, you’re expected to bully people not part of the group)
Then you got the other side of it, kids of tiger parents, the loners, etc…
I mean, the closest group I could “relate” to, that doesn’t act like “gangsters” would be I think this groups of kids that are sort of gamers I think, but they play these triple A games that I don’t even have the hardware for nor money for games, and they play card games that I tried, but never could get into. There’s these Mandarin speakers that were kinds into pop music of Korean and Mandarin songs, but I don’t even feel “Chinese” enough to feel like I’d ever belong, can’t even speak Mandarin good enough since I got here during earlu childhood, also I kinda am not into the stuff they’re into.
Also, friend circles form since middle school, so I kinda missed the “deadline” of forming friendships. I kinda didn’t venture and talk to people during freshman year, so that just exacerbated the problem. Once these groups form, you are always an outsider.
So… yea… highschool… ugh… kinda hate it tbh…
Ah. I didn’t realize that you are still in high school.
Okay, yeah, cliquishness sucks - but just look at it as training for the rest of life. If you can break into cliques in high school and/or make friends despite their exclusionary nature, you’ll be set for life. There are few places in real life where people are as dickish to each other as they are in high school.
Yea stuff like… Tik Tok… Instagram… fighting in hallways, bragging about skipping class…
Are you listing things that the other kid did? Because this is not even close to the sum total of all the things you could be doing with your time outside watching tv.
No, I’m speaking past tense because I think through memories and I get confused about verbs. My original language doesn’t really distinguish is/was, so I kinda use present and past tense interchangeably. School is over, I’m college-age now, thank fucking god.
And for that one specific encouter, dude was Chinese American, parents are strict, this dude be studying all the time, didn’t have much friends (just like me), he didn’t have much hobbies. Like he said he watch Youtube videos but then we don’t share much common channels.
So… yea…
whatever, that’s history.
Pop culture knowledge helps with finding the bit of little common ground that really helps you to get to know someone and start the type of co-worker relationship that comes in handy in the world of work.
I casually follow sports in part so that I can BS with other guys at work.
Your acquaintance sounds like a cool person.
“What kinds of stuff are you into?” is probably the question you wanted to ask instead of asking about pirating random content.
I would say definitely not essential, but it can elevate both forming and having one. There should still be something in common to build on.
In general, being a big fan of both Psych and Scrubs on TV, I would say pop culture references elevated both of those shows for me greatly. It feels like theyrey sharing insider jokes with me and I do get them.
IMO, pop culture can be a great icebreaker, but it’s definitely not essential for building meaningful friendships. I’ve formed friendships with people even when we had no shared (pop) references whatsoever.
In my experience, learning about someone else’s (pop culture or other) interests can be a meaningful way to get to know them better.
At the end of the day, it’s not about which movies someone likes, but the substance of your conversations: empathy, shared experiences, and the trust that comes from opening up, for example.
Just be curious, open, and supportive. The rest will follow.
And hey, your favorite movies will come up eventually. Who knows, you might end up watching something new together.
To me, shared experience is always an easy ice breaker. Stuff like mainstream media is a quick win. And yeah, sometimes if people are a bit more underground or indie as far as their media is concerned grants them an image of having a distinct personality, but that usually only works if they’re socially strong and have other stuff they can connect with other people over.
I’m not saying you should consume anything that gets promoted massively, but keeping an eye on what’s popular and seeing if anything floats your boat might give you an easier time striking up a conversation with someone.
I used to be really dismissive of anything with a huge advertising budget. If something gets promoted everywhere all the time, it’s unlikely I’d give it a chance. Somehow I felt more interesting than others because of this. Turns out you’re not, people lose interest really quickly when they can’t talk to you about anything.
